“The One with the Academy Awards”  

​

It was the 2016 88th Academy Awards show. This particular Oscars show was special. It was controversial. It was the year that there were no black nominees in any of the major categories,  the year that Will and Jada Smith and Spike Lee got mad and sort of boycotted. My John did not want to watch it either. I, however could not resist. It was also the year that Chris Rock, my 3rd favorite Oscar emcee is hosting. (My first is Billy Crystal and my 2nd is Ellen Degeneres!)

 

Although John also "boycotted" the show, we had many conversations about the Oscars. I told him about Chris Rock’s monologue. How funny it was, yet you can see how uncomfortable some of the white people in the audience were. I mean, Chris said things like,

​

“Now the thing is, why are we protesting? Why this Oscars? It’s the 88th Academy Awards, which means this whole no black nominees thing has happened at least 71 other times. O.K.? I’m sure there were no black nominees some of those years. Say ‘62 or ‘63, and black people did not protest. Why? Because we had real things to protest at the time, you know? We had real things to protest; you know, we’re too busy being raped and lynched to care about who won best cinematographer. You know, when your grandmother’s swinging from a tree, it’s really hard to care about best documentary foreign short.” -Transcript from NYTimes

​

As funny as Chris Rock wanted  that part of his monologue to be,  I understood what it meant. 

​

John told me that this type of controversy happened before with the movie, The Color Purple (Spoiler Alert: “The One With The Color Purple”) In 1995, this amazing movie failed to win any of the 11 major categories it was nominated for, making the record (tie with 1977's The Turning Point) for the most Oscar nominations without a single win.  I would have not known about this beautiful movie had it not been for John. I actually refuse to watch sad movies. And even if I hesitated each time John asked me to watch “serious” movies, I always gave in and ended up loving it! We saw movies like “12 Years a Slave,” “The Butler” and more. John may have betrayed me multiples times, but he taught me many things. He also opened my eyes and my mind. I really appreciated how I became less ignorant, and how more open and accepting I had become because of John. Not that I was racist or prejudiced, I just did not know how deep and real racism was and still is.

​

John does not know this, but when we were still together, I read interesting articles about black history in my own time. I have googled Frederick Douglass and Rosa Parks. I started quoting Maya Angelou. I looked up all the characters after watching the 2008 musical biopic Cadillac Records.  I paid extra  to watch “42” (Jackie Robinson’s bio)  on a flight to California.  I’ve watched a few videos of Jesse Williams talking about racism, equality and why black lives matter. I worry about David (John’s son), and I get sick to my stomach every time I see George Zimmermann (Trayvon Martin’s murderer)  in the news. I shed tears when I saw Philando Castile shot in front of his girlfriend and her 4-year old girl  on Facebook Live video  (Spoiler Alert on Future Blog: “The One When We Got Stopped by the Popo”).  Because of John, I know who Kalief Browder and Thurgood Marshall were. I've learned about the  Tulsa Race Riot and the Underground Railroad from Vermont to Canada.  See, before John, there was only Martin Luther King Jr., Denzel Washington, Eddie Murphy, Oprah Winfrey, Stevie Wonder, Whitney Houston, Michael Jackson, Muhammad Ali, Motown  and the NBA! Well, there are more, but you get my point.

​

I may have lost John, I may have lost the Smiths, but one thing I will keep  is my new awareness, appreciation and admiration of black culture and black history. 

​

Now back to the Oscars… 

 

This year, I am going to watch the 90th  Annual Academy Awards on my new 65-inch TV, with a few guests, with my mom and sister on Skype,  and “Horse” on my lap. (Spoiler Alert: “The One With Our Puppy Named Horse”) I hope Jimmy Kimmel will do a great job hosting, and I can’t wait to see what Guillermo is up to.